She seemed dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame,
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me.
I'd do anything to have her to myself,
Just to have her for myself.
Now I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad.
She is everything to me,
The unrequited dream,
The song that no one sings,
The unattainable.
She's a myth that I have to believe in,
All I need to make it real is one more reason.
I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do
when she makes me sad.
But I won't let this build up inside of me.
A catch in my throat
choke
Torn into pieces
I won't.
No.
I don't want to be this but
I won't let this build up inside of me
She isn't real.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Why So Suicide??
IITs are one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen in life, so lively. Everyone, who lived here says that you can never forget those times of your life when you were studying at the IIT. But every good thing has a potential of hiding bad things. IITs are not missed.
An IIT student qualifies one of the toughest examinations in the country to make his way to the IITs. IITs are not everyone’s cup of tea, not everyone can come and say that ‘yes! I m an IITian . And these students waste their life, even after joining IITs. Why? The rate of suicides in the IITs in growing continuously, it’s becoming contagious. Every Six months, a semester in IIT system, the country witnesses at least one suicide. Why?
The solution that administration is offering at the IITs is removing the ceiling fans because they feel that student hangs himself from fan. Putting Jali walls in balconies, so that no one can jump, banning the internet in night times because they feel that students surf on net irrationally and miss classes. Next thing they will do, remove electric sockets, banning students from using razor blades, covering all the lawns with trampolines so that when one jumps, he wont die, restricting the height of hostels to 3.5 meters?
This is no solution. He, who wants to suicide, will find a way. Suicidal thoughts are an involuntary affliction! We don't choose to think them. Suicidal thoughts just enter; they just come into your mind on their own. And they are very ACTIVE, and they have tremendous emotional power. They urge you, push you, and compel you towards suicide.
Why is it?
At times, the atmosphere around becomes so stressful, so stern, so tense that you just want to run away. The pressure of performing well in academics is so high that sometimes failing is fatal. The expectations are very high that one is ready to waste his life, just for getting flunked in a couple of subjects. But it’s not all who do “DECENT” in CGPA on a scale of 10 live, some who are better than the average also, suicide. Well in that case, you can’t say that the pressure of performing was the cause.
Stressful night-outs and pressure to do good in exams. Why? Because that will fetch a good CGPA, then, a multinational company will come, hire you on a package everyone dreams of, and then you will die living the same monotonic and robotic life. Oh you have done good in CG?? Well everyone seems to do that, so may be you should try in sports. Then, some people are still better than you, lets try something in the extra circulars, but you are not gifted; are you? So what will you show to the panel who will check you during the placements and mark you “OK CHECKED TESTED”
One big truth that no one is ready to accept is that you cant just force someone to study. Providing best of the faculty, best of the resources and best of the infrastructure; with a tag of best in country, doesn’t entitle a student to study. The feeling to study well and do well in exams, comes from inside. Those who wants to do it, do it. Why did you do something meaningful in your life? Did someone forced you?
But here in IITs, it becomes your habit because its the habit of other people; people whom the SOCIETY tag as goodfellas. Basically its just like imposing something. Something that you would not want to do always.
There are loopholes in the administration, but the administration is not ready to accept that; may be because of its pride or may be because paperwork is blind, emotionless.
If you fail in one subject, its not so easy to pass it again. Thats a big fault in administration. You have to go to dean then to director, then to HOD, then to Professor then to OC TimeTable then to classes. This whole process not only wastes energy ink and papers, but also the faith of the students from the system. And wait, there is even more!! Uneven distribution of the credits in different branches, while some can clear two backlogs, some cant even afford to clear one! And what would these do? They will pass with their juniors.
IIT system believes that a student should be taught all the fields related to technology and not only restrict the syllabus to his particular stream. But where the hell does it makes some difference? They float electives, we register once, and then we don’t go to classes because in a class of 150, its too boring and noisy to understand anything. This semester, i m pursuing my second elective, and i don’t even know the code of the first one i did. Pity on such educational system.
They stress to teach millions of subjects, but if u ask a second year guy to write one paragraph about all the 14 subjects he did in his first year, it will take him a century. Frankly speaking, 99% of the people don’t even remember what they learned, and 60% don’t even know what are they cramming a night before exams.
To be continued....
An IIT student qualifies one of the toughest examinations in the country to make his way to the IITs. IITs are not everyone’s cup of tea, not everyone can come and say that ‘yes! I m an IITian . And these students waste their life, even after joining IITs. Why? The rate of suicides in the IITs in growing continuously, it’s becoming contagious. Every Six months, a semester in IIT system, the country witnesses at least one suicide. Why?
The solution that administration is offering at the IITs is removing the ceiling fans because they feel that student hangs himself from fan. Putting Jali walls in balconies, so that no one can jump, banning the internet in night times because they feel that students surf on net irrationally and miss classes. Next thing they will do, remove electric sockets, banning students from using razor blades, covering all the lawns with trampolines so that when one jumps, he wont die, restricting the height of hostels to 3.5 meters?
This is no solution. He, who wants to suicide, will find a way. Suicidal thoughts are an involuntary affliction! We don't choose to think them. Suicidal thoughts just enter; they just come into your mind on their own. And they are very ACTIVE, and they have tremendous emotional power. They urge you, push you, and compel you towards suicide.
Why is it?
At times, the atmosphere around becomes so stressful, so stern, so tense that you just want to run away. The pressure of performing well in academics is so high that sometimes failing is fatal. The expectations are very high that one is ready to waste his life, just for getting flunked in a couple of subjects. But it’s not all who do “DECENT” in CGPA on a scale of 10 live, some who are better than the average also, suicide. Well in that case, you can’t say that the pressure of performing was the cause.
Stressful night-outs and pressure to do good in exams. Why? Because that will fetch a good CGPA, then, a multinational company will come, hire you on a package everyone dreams of, and then you will die living the same monotonic and robotic life. Oh you have done good in CG?? Well everyone seems to do that, so may be you should try in sports. Then, some people are still better than you, lets try something in the extra circulars, but you are not gifted; are you? So what will you show to the panel who will check you during the placements and mark you “OK CHECKED TESTED”
One big truth that no one is ready to accept is that you cant just force someone to study. Providing best of the faculty, best of the resources and best of the infrastructure; with a tag of best in country, doesn’t entitle a student to study. The feeling to study well and do well in exams, comes from inside. Those who wants to do it, do it. Why did you do something meaningful in your life? Did someone forced you?
But here in IITs, it becomes your habit because its the habit of other people; people whom the SOCIETY tag as goodfellas. Basically its just like imposing something. Something that you would not want to do always.
There are loopholes in the administration, but the administration is not ready to accept that; may be because of its pride or may be because paperwork is blind, emotionless.
If you fail in one subject, its not so easy to pass it again. Thats a big fault in administration. You have to go to dean then to director, then to HOD, then to Professor then to OC TimeTable then to classes. This whole process not only wastes energy ink and papers, but also the faith of the students from the system. And wait, there is even more!! Uneven distribution of the credits in different branches, while some can clear two backlogs, some cant even afford to clear one! And what would these do? They will pass with their juniors.
IIT system believes that a student should be taught all the fields related to technology and not only restrict the syllabus to his particular stream. But where the hell does it makes some difference? They float electives, we register once, and then we don’t go to classes because in a class of 150, its too boring and noisy to understand anything. This semester, i m pursuing my second elective, and i don’t even know the code of the first one i did. Pity on such educational system.
They stress to teach millions of subjects, but if u ask a second year guy to write one paragraph about all the 14 subjects he did in his first year, it will take him a century. Frankly speaking, 99% of the people don’t even remember what they learned, and 60% don’t even know what are they cramming a night before exams.
To be continued....
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